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Wild Card Race of the Grand Pricks Series, #6

A minute faster than last year... A Wild Card Race Prescription to prevent "Dogging-it"

READERS RETURN FIRE - below

This is the Wild Card Race installment in the twenty one race series.  Most running mags who report on these races center around who won and quick times.  This blog revolves around the seamy underbelly in each race; the also-rans: the has-beens: the crippled: the infirm: the insane.

  These are my people.  Read on.

01/14/07

7th Annual Frostbite 15K Mid-Winter Classic Invitational

 Raynham, MA, January 14, 2007

First of all, Big Ups to Team DuPont.  This Classy Race is a carbon copy of last years.  So Read This. 

Check out the pics from the race: Go to www.LeClercphoto.com click on view events, click on Aruda Road Race, Run is the password.

But we have more important issues.

The Issue of "Dogging-it", "Sandbagging it", "Slacking-off"... or "Jerking-off " during WILD CARD RACES"

Lazy runners figure they can just show up and get their RAT points for these races, I say no F*CKING WAY! And to make things interesting, read on.

The rules are gonna be simple.  The Coach is going to give you, the RAT top 20, a race performance evaluation AND telling you what your Derry time must be. The rest of you get the idea and work from there. I will ask you at DERRY, SO DO YOUR HOMEWORK!

If you ran this race last year and you ran it one minute faster this year, the Coach won't put his foot your arse when I see see you at the Derry 16 Miler next week.

Lets do me first as an example:  I ran this race last year and finished in 76:43 albeit an admittedly leisurely 8:15 pace, I was fat and unhappy.  This year I ran it in 74:20 or an 8:00 pace, things are different now.  I'll admit I was racing a particularly sassy lass in hope of a kiss, I have my own priorities this series. Ok,  so lets look at last years DERRY time: 2:29:46 or 9:22 pace.

So this means I must run a 2:28:46, 9:18 pace or better at Derry.  So the coach passes the Raynham test; ran it faster and I now have my goal time for DERRY. 

IF I DO NOT BETTER MY LAST YEARS DERRY TIME BY ONE MINUTE,  I WILL BUY YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT (food and spirits) AFTER YOU RUN THE '07 MARTHA'S VINEYARD TWENTY MILER WITH ME in MV. 

Providing you do Raynham, Derry AND Martha's Wild Card Races.

Ok?

Ready to play along? 

1) Mike Tammaro: Didn't run Raynham last year and didn't run Derry ever! Gotta give these flatlander Rhode Islanders some slack, there's no difficult races there. Glad to see you've pulled your head out of the Narragansett sand Mike and discovered the whole big world of TOUGH ROAD RACES. 1:37:20 for you! 

2) Jeff Gould: no '06 Raynham, '06 Derry: 1:48:36 therefore '07 Derry time 1:47:36

3) Peter Orni: no '06 Raynham, '04 Derry: 2:19:24 therefore '07 Derry time 2:18:24

4) Dave Tyler: no '06 Raynham, '04 Derry: 2:11:50 therefore '07 Derry time 2:10:50 note: Dave gets a possible pass, His knee locked up at Raynham, I was there to perpetrate it, I mean witness it..."why meeee...why meeee" .

5) Gail Martin: '06 Raynham: 1:13:59, '07 time: 1:13:30, '04 Derry: 2:18:59, '07 Derry: 2:20:59

6) Chris Stocker: No recent history on Chris, so I'll peg his Derry time at: ...he's good for a sub-eight pace..so.. I wanna see a 2:04:00.  Write that done Chris.

7) Coach G: '06 Raynham: 76:43, '07 time: 74:20, '06 Derry: 2:29:46, '07 Derry: 2:28:46

8) Judy Romvos: no '06 Raynham, '04 Derry: 2:46:38 therefore '07 Derry time 2:55:00

9) Don Burke: no '06 Raynham, '04 Derry: 1:49:55 therefore '07 Derry time 1:48:55

10) Dave Martin: '06 Raynham: 1:12:56, '07 time: 1:08:59, '04 Derry: 2:23:42, '07 Derry: 2:16:42

11) Mike Ferrari: '06 Raynham: 62:45 '07 time: 59:43, '05 Derry: 2:15:18, '07 Derry: 1:54:00

12)Dan Ravenelle: no '06 Raynham, '04 Derry: 1:56:04 therefore '07 Derry time 1:55:04

13)Charles Farrington: no '06 Raynham, '04 Derry: 2:09:45 therefore '07 Derry time 2:08:45

14)Ted Ridout: '06 Raynham 72:18, '07 time: 74:05, '05 Derry: 2:10:57, '07 Derry: 2:30:00

15) Manny Arruda: no '06 Raynham, '04 Derry: 2:13:22 therefore '07 Derry time 2:12:22

16)Peter Brook: no '06 Raynham, '04 Derry: 2:26:09 therefore '07 Derry time 2:25:09

17) Phil Pierce: no '06 Raynham, '04 Derry: 2:03:13 therefore '07 Derry time 2:02:13

18) Jim Imprescia: '07 time: 64:23, NO DERRY, '07 Derry: 1:54:40

19) Ray Boutotte: no '06 Raynham, '04 Derry: 2:48:28 therefore '07 Derry time 2:47:28

20) Kevin Gurnotta: '07 time: 60:19, NO DERRY, '07 Derry: 1:46:40

I got blasted on this one.  In an effort of full discloser, here are all my Derry times:

1998: (Black Ice year) 2:44:11 This is the one race that scared me, really scared me, rocked my world,

I couldn't believe healthy people PAID for this punishment. It took a while to recover, let me tell you.

2001: (Blizzard Year)  2:55:59 You don't know panic unless you have run 16 miles in white-out conditions. 

2002: 2:32:56

2003: 2:37:18- 44 year old triathlete George Brady died finishing just ahead of me.

ICE, BLIZZARDS, DEATH... this ain't a race...its survival!!

2004: 2:32:51- ZERO degrees...ZEEEERRRROOO, oh, and a slight 25 mph wind to top it off...oh yeah.

2005: Delayed till February.

2006: 2:29:49 PR

First to chime in is the mighty fireman from Sharon: Dave Martin:

All right!  see the fireman is first to step up.  I said dear old Dave can do 2:22:42...He says he can do better...so lets peg him at...say...a 2:16:42.  Thanks Dave for stepping up to the plate. Dave you better that time and it's Steaks and Drinks on me after Martha's

Next:

Mike Quinn checks in.  He's currently 29th.  He's gonna get the fabled BUTT PATCH.  Lets hear what he's gotta say:

All 2005 and 2006 races run at distances greater than a half marathon:

Derry 2006 2:16:28 8:32
Stu's 2006 2:47:58 9:01
Cape Ann 2006 2:28:11 9:33 (a non-bonus Rat Race where E. Dowling finished ahead more than a minute ahead of me)

Stu's 2005 3:00:10 9:40

Also, Norfolk 2006 1:23:28 8:21

At Derry, I'd be ecstatic with a 2:15:28. It would be a PR. Realistically and sadly, 2:30 is more likely, and that's without the double stroller.

See you in Derry, and you'd better be ahead of me.

Michael Quinn
Somerville Road Runners

All right!  An all out effort is given by this guy every race.  So Mikes running a 2:30...sans stroller...double stroller.  This guy beats me EVERY time with that damn thing.  Mike, get under 2:30 OR you beat me at DERRY...Steaks and Drinks on me after Martha's.

NEXT!

Now this character is means business, I respect this guy, when he talks I listen.

Coach, your ever-fertile mind has come up with another winner. Except I am insulted at the "no Derry" listing. A fertile mind may not be an intelligent one. I ran Derry in 2005 in 2:10:57 and in 2001 in 2:01:05. If you don't correct my listing, you won't see mile 2 at Derry! Note also that big, cold weather runners, like Manny Arruda, destroyed the more slender, like Peter Orni, in the frigid 2004 event.

Ted Ridout

Sounds like a threat to me. eh gang.  I'll watch for big  GFTC goons with pipes.  Like he said "Watch out for big, cold weather types (I'm pushing 190 and like cold weather running...perhaps he should be worried!)
 

Coach, you also omit that I ran Raynham last year, in 1:12:18. So last year you dogged it, admittedly, and get a free pass, but I run with a tender hamstring this year and get penalized. Anyway, I want my results corrected or it is mile one at Derry for a showdown!

Ted Ridout

Okay TED,  I'll give you a pass because you are the very definition of a RAT.  I know your hurt and you still give a BALLSY effort (you beat me fair and square at Raynham and I had a PR for Christ sake!), I like that (and I like women too, so don't get any ideas) So Ted gets to run with me at Derry.  Ted you beat me at Derry...Steaks and Drinks on me after Martha's.

NEXT!

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