Chilmark 5K August 13th 2005
I was ready, I’ve been putting in the miles, I was all business.
Unfortunately this race organization wasn’t about being a competitive race.
I enjoyed a week on Martha’s Vineyard, going to South Beach, the Town Beach in Aquinna (Gay Head), The beach on Lamberts Cove Road and I had a nice tan to show for it. Run seven miles every morning, a quarter mile nude swim in the ocean, all by 7am every morning. Then do absolutely nothing the rest of the day…nothing of any consequence, as a vacation should be. Then this race. I could be serious for twenty minutes and clip off this little 5K, but the race organizers conspired against me. The race was scheduled to go off at 10:30am Saturday morning. I take the scoot, and get there by 8:30am. Park right across from the finish and mosey over to the Chilmark Community Center to register. Alls I’m wearing is some shorts so I carry a twenty in my paw figuring that oughta cover it…wrong. This is Martha’s Vineyard. It’s twenty two bucks to post register. You do get a nice shirt though. This race has some history, started in 1978 and has become a rite of summer on the island. A place where old friends meet up prior to the start of the race. That was the problem the organizers failed to take into account, or at least make provisions for. I’d say 90% of the participants this was the only race they do every year. It’s a point to point race so they have to bus you 2.9 miles up the Middle Road to the start, dump you off and walk past the start and seed yourself by the flags calling out the times per mile, 5, 6, 7, 8 ,9 ,10 ,11… The busses start running at 9am with the last bus leaving at 10. I take one of the first busses and get there with plenty of time to get in a good warm up on the beautiful August morning already in the upper 80’s on a cloudless sunny day, slight breeze, perfect. The Middle Road is this typical narrow island road and the start line is roped off and you have to literally walk in the ditch on the side of the road to get past and line up where you think you should be. This is where it all went to shit. Egotistical type A personalities who can’t run to the toilet figuring they’re starting with the five minute milers cut in complaining all the time how crappy the race volunteers were treating them, I mean really! So I’m getting pushed back by these assholes, the ten thirty start time comes and goes, more hung over fat asses show up with they’re overweight coach potato punk kids in tow clogging the front of the start line cause the can’t get down this little ditch to the back of the line. The gun goes off and it’s a stampede! I angle in with the speedsters who are literally pushing through the throng, shoving people aside, unbelievable! I can’t get into the rhythm cause the one race a year folks are clueless about what’s going on. It was ugly for the first half mile. Because of this I pull back and watch the spectacle, poser runners puking, coughing, hacking, peeling off to piss…at the start of a 5K for Christ sake! You don’t eat Eggs Benedict then run a race okay? Geez. Not feeling it I turn in a 24 and change and clear out. Nothing good…’cept for the shirt!